In First Corinthians chapter 14, verse one, Paul writes, “Let love be your highest goal!”. This really struck me tonight when I read it because it was a difficult night at work and I had been feeling very cynical.

I really needed this reminder tonight that I need to always focus on the love I felt coming from Jesus when I interacted with him as the consciousness of the Sun while using a legal substance over a few years.

Tonight at work, I really got wrapped up in self. I got focused on my minor irritations with my job and my coworkers and my work schedule and my complaints just snowballed and then my mood went through the floor. Sometimes I forget about the sacrifice that Jesus made and his suffering and how in comparison to that my problems are so minor as to embarrass me for even complaining about them.

I did complain though, and now I regret it. I constantly have to remind myself by reading the Bible just how much it is stressed in both the Old and New Testament that speech can have a tremendous impact on others. My words didn’t do anything but make me feel worse, and of course now I wish I hadn’t uttered them.

We live in such a time of open expression of everything that as a culture we have lost the respect that those in biblical times had for the power of speech to affect others and ourselves. My grandmother was always extremely cautious with her words; most of the time she would respond to things with a facial expression and little more.

I grew up in a generation that was influenced by the trend of self-expression. I don’t think we need to repress everything, of course, but there is way too much expression of everything in our culture now with internet anonymity, especially anger. Reading Proverbs in particular and remembering my grandmother’s verbal reserve is really helpful to me in terms of reminding me to refrain from expressing most things. And this verse from Paul really brought it home to me that I need to bring my focus back to love when I am having a night like tonight, so that my mood can be salvaged from getting any worse.

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